Learning and Healing from Loss
As I sat on Bell Rock for sunrise my first morning in Sedona, I was processing the loss of the class I had been working towards for over 5 years. It was the very reason I was in Sedona in the first place. Yes, it was just postponed - but the loss was very real to me. I had received the email informing me of the postponement as I crawled into bed my first night in Sedona. After preparing for years, traveling all day to get there - talk about a gut punch... Do I stay for the retreat they are offering to us, do I go home, how much of my trip can be refunded? All of these questions flooded my tired mind.
After a restless night of semi-sleep, I allowed myself to feel all of the emotions sitting on my perch on Bell Rock:
shock over the loss, MFR 3 just doesn't get postponed at the last minute!
sadness and worry about my mentor's injury
sadness over the loss of his physical presence this trip
anger that things changed, that my vision for my trip needed to change
anger over having to experience this loss in the first place
fear over wasting time and valuable resources to be in Sedona
and ego entered in, the part of me that wanted to leave Sedona with that Expert status this class affords you.
As I felt all of these emotions, I eventually found myself able to open my mind to the lessons, opportunities and possibility of deeper healing that this experience could bring. I eventually found myself opening up to these opportunities. I even looked back at the goals and intentions that I had set for this trip just the day before. As I read through them, I realized that there was no reason I couldn't still reach them. And do you know what I did not find on that list I had carefully written? I found no mention of the Expert status my ego had wanted to hold on to.
My message was clear. I was to let go of control and fear. I was to trust the process. Oh boy, are these lessons that are familiar! I realized how far I had come over the past few years with letting go and trusting, but that there was work still to be done. What I began to picture was a fluid mind, body and spirit. One with a strong body, mind and soul - and an unlimited heart.
I have so many more things to share from my trip - but for now, I want to hear about a loss you have handled - or maybe not handled. Please reach out if this resonates with you...